Learned at a young age, perfected over time. By your 20s you'd think people would understand the subtleties of this often overlooked art form, but, unfortunately, walking has been barbarically debased.
I'm not talking about your physical put one foot in front of the other transportation mechanism, most people have those basics down. Of course there are the few with the awkward shuffles or the ever annoying super model strut. That I never understand, why people want to so publicly display their douche-baggary, it is simply enraging. It would be so satisfying to watch someone doing the strut down a street or in the grocery store or something, and then have someone just go up and punch them in the face. I have yet to see it, though, and will probably never commit the act myself, unless I am extremely intoxicated or something... It would just be so weird, and you really wouldn't want it to become a trend and spread to other things. If someone didn't like the way I tie my shoes and punched me in the face I would be unhappy. So yeah, maybe punching people in the face is a bad idea... I digress!
I went to the mall today with my sister to exchange some shoes she got for Christmas because she needed a different size. Unfortunately I parked in the parking lot on the complete opposite side of the mall from the store we needed to go to, so we had to make our way through the mall and through the hordes of people. This really shouldn't be a difficult task, but it ended up being aggravating because people could not walk.
For example, let's say the hallway was the size that four people could stand comfortably side by side. You would then designate two "lanes" of the hallway on each side for walking in each direction, like a road. But these aren't roads, so strict rules like that don't need to be applied, you can have four people walking in one direction and three people walking in the other direction, it doesn't matter. But in that scenario, if people don't move aside when they see other people coming, they run into each other and look dumb. It has happened before, and will happen if you don't move out of the way (try it next time, I have before and it is ridiculous!). If you are not in one of the two "lanes" designated for the direction in which you are walking, you do not have the "right of way" and need to move aside when someone is coming in the correct direction for the "lane" in which you are in. This is if the hallway is really busy, obviously, because most of the time none of that really matters and you can just walk wherever.
However, so many people just refuse to move! You can be walking, and these people will just run you over and then yell at you for walking into them even if you try to avoid them, but there's no place you can really go because their group takes up the entire hallway! It would be fine if I were a ghost and truly invisible, because then the people would just walk through me and feel slightly cold and maybe crave some chocolate or something. But, I am corporeal and take up space and so cannot be walked through, and would really appreciate it if people would pay attention to where they were going and move out of the way. It's really simple, if you are on the wrong side of the hallway and are about to run into someone, move over for a second and let them walk by. It's very easy, I promise.
Walking is a great skill that can take you far in life. It can get you places efficiently while demonstrating your politeness, and can and also prevent riots! So next time you have to walk somewhere, remember these handy tips to save lives and subdue tempers.
